Eternal Marriage Sealings
Q.
This is the basic quandry. Supposed Bob and Betty are sealed in the temple, as are Jim and Jane. Betty dies after 40 years of marriage. Jim dies after 41 years of marriage. Bob and Jane meet at a Single Adult Activity, and marry after a couple of months. Of course they can only marry "for time only." But later, once Bob and Jane are deceased, they are sealed. So, now we have Bob sealed to Betty and Jane, Betty sealed to Bob, Jim sealed to Jane, and Jane sealed to Jim and Bob. Fairly classic circumstance in the Church. My question isn't really about "who" will be with who. Obviously, people will still have their agency, and we can't really say who will be with who. But my point is this: we never get to the question of the end result if Bob and Jane had just made up their minds in the first place that they wouldn't allow themselves to fall in love and marry a second time. We preach and testify that when someone dies, they are alive and well in the Spirit World anxiously waiting for a joyful reunion. Presuming my spouse dies, and I'm supposed to know that she is alive and well and waiting on me, what justifies falling in love with another woman? Why is action and behavior that would be considered adulterous in mortality suddenly "okay" once my spouse dies? Why say I'm married for time and eternity if, the moment my wife dies, I act just like people of other religions who don't believe we'll be couples in the afterlife, and just allow myself to "move on" and marry someone else. People say "we'll feel differently" in the spirit world - I wish they could quote a prophet for that proposition. Every prophet has said we'll carry the same personality and that we'll enjoy the same sociality we have on earth. If knowing my wife has fallen in love with another man in mortality would end our marriage, how is knowing she did it after I'm dead going to be any better? And presuming she chooses that second husband over me, where does that leave me? The real question: If I die and my wife were to start dating other men, would I likewise be free to "date" other women in the Spirit World? If not, why not? It would only seem fair. Any thoughts would be welcome.
A.
Your final question is a simple matter. Yes, you can date in the spirit world, as surely as you can here.
One thing that needs to be looked at in regard the whole thing you are saying is that there is a difference between men and women in eternal marriage. Women only have one husband where men have several wives. There won't be a place for monogamy among gods and godesses. It is a concept of laziness, greed and possessiveness. There are far more important matters to those who receive eternal life. That is the giving of spirit bodies and physical bodies to the endless intelligences that exist throughout endless space.
Even in the law given to Moses God declares that adultery for a woman is that a married woman has sex with someone other than her husband. Where for a man it is to have sex with a married woman (Lev 20:10).
You are correct that people don't change just because they die. But it must be realised that being "in love" is nothing more than a romantic expectation. The most important ingredient is real love itself. The "in love" concept can be produced by anyone at any time. I have been in love with two women at the same time (it happened by unforeseen and complicated circumstances). But I have since come to see that it is easy enough to do.
People can fall out of love just as easily as they fell in love. We have to look for spiritual love, friendship love and respect as foundations for a good marriage. If a man and woman have this it may become difficult for a man to move on in his responsibility to take on additional women when the time comes. However as men we must take this responsibility, realising that women need a husband and there will be more women than men that make it. This is because they are more heart inclined than men. So, like it or lump it, if you want eternal life.
Plural marriage is what women need for many reasons, which I won't go into here as we don't presently practice it. So it isn't my intention to preach it. But a woman can't be as happy in a monogamy.
One further point is that Paul points out that it is better for young widows to get married again and get involved, rather than sitting around becoming tattle-tales and busybodies (1 Tim 5:13). It is a better idea overall.
This is the basic quandry. Supposed Bob and Betty are sealed in the temple, as are Jim and Jane. Betty dies after 40 years of marriage. Jim dies after 41 years of marriage. Bob and Jane meet at a Single Adult Activity, and marry after a couple of months. Of course they can only marry "for time only." But later, once Bob and Jane are deceased, they are sealed. So, now we have Bob sealed to Betty and Jane, Betty sealed to Bob, Jim sealed to Jane, and Jane sealed to Jim and Bob. Fairly classic circumstance in the Church. My question isn't really about "who" will be with who. Obviously, people will still have their agency, and we can't really say who will be with who. But my point is this: we never get to the question of the end result if Bob and Jane had just made up their minds in the first place that they wouldn't allow themselves to fall in love and marry a second time. We preach and testify that when someone dies, they are alive and well in the Spirit World anxiously waiting for a joyful reunion. Presuming my spouse dies, and I'm supposed to know that she is alive and well and waiting on me, what justifies falling in love with another woman? Why is action and behavior that would be considered adulterous in mortality suddenly "okay" once my spouse dies? Why say I'm married for time and eternity if, the moment my wife dies, I act just like people of other religions who don't believe we'll be couples in the afterlife, and just allow myself to "move on" and marry someone else. People say "we'll feel differently" in the spirit world - I wish they could quote a prophet for that proposition. Every prophet has said we'll carry the same personality and that we'll enjoy the same sociality we have on earth. If knowing my wife has fallen in love with another man in mortality would end our marriage, how is knowing she did it after I'm dead going to be any better? And presuming she chooses that second husband over me, where does that leave me? The real question: If I die and my wife were to start dating other men, would I likewise be free to "date" other women in the Spirit World? If not, why not? It would only seem fair. Any thoughts would be welcome.
A.
Your final question is a simple matter. Yes, you can date in the spirit world, as surely as you can here.
One thing that needs to be looked at in regard the whole thing you are saying is that there is a difference between men and women in eternal marriage. Women only have one husband where men have several wives. There won't be a place for monogamy among gods and godesses. It is a concept of laziness, greed and possessiveness. There are far more important matters to those who receive eternal life. That is the giving of spirit bodies and physical bodies to the endless intelligences that exist throughout endless space.
Even in the law given to Moses God declares that adultery for a woman is that a married woman has sex with someone other than her husband. Where for a man it is to have sex with a married woman (Lev 20:10).
You are correct that people don't change just because they die. But it must be realised that being "in love" is nothing more than a romantic expectation. The most important ingredient is real love itself. The "in love" concept can be produced by anyone at any time. I have been in love with two women at the same time (it happened by unforeseen and complicated circumstances). But I have since come to see that it is easy enough to do.
People can fall out of love just as easily as they fell in love. We have to look for spiritual love, friendship love and respect as foundations for a good marriage. If a man and woman have this it may become difficult for a man to move on in his responsibility to take on additional women when the time comes. However as men we must take this responsibility, realising that women need a husband and there will be more women than men that make it. This is because they are more heart inclined than men. So, like it or lump it, if you want eternal life.
Plural marriage is what women need for many reasons, which I won't go into here as we don't presently practice it. So it isn't my intention to preach it. But a woman can't be as happy in a monogamy.
One further point is that Paul points out that it is better for young widows to get married again and get involved, rather than sitting around becoming tattle-tales and busybodies (1 Tim 5:13). It is a better idea overall.
posted by Doug Towers at 6:24 PM
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